November 2012 just write in Mark!

I have been stewing on this for a week now and this rant needs to come out. What kind of bullshit lie is that Mr. President? Warren Buffet pays less in taxes than his secretary. You compared the 15% tax he pays on investment earnings to the 20 some % that she pays in income tax. I would laugh but most people did not realize what bull shit you just peddled the 15% Warren pays is after the 61% he paid on the money he earned on income to take and reinvest in the economy. How about Warren just stops investing in our economy and puts it in the Caymans? This is not class warfare really? Just keep peddling the rich should pay their fair share shit, yo smart guy they already pay more than 91% of the country’s taxes. So keep it up and for all of you that agree next time you need a job go ask a poor guy for one.

This is not a Democrat rant either: W thought the Patriot act was a great idea and we will just add a sunset clause on it. That shit still exists and your freedoms are eroding daily due to it.

Then there is Mitt he doesn’t like Obama care, dude they copied it off Romney care. Or how about Perry he thinks it’s a great idea to have 12 year old girls forced to be inoculated a shot that their parents do not agree with.

Let’s travel back a couple of Presidents any body remember “I did not inhale” or my personal favorite “I did not have sex with that girl” Man just own it its easy it’s like this: Yes I smoked it and I liked it! Or how about this: Have you seen Hilary hell yes I grabbed a cigar and a twenty year old!

So here it is I am running for President and my platform looks like this:

To all that want to dig up dirt on me just ask I will tell you the straight up truth! I have done a lot of bad shit but I am not ashamed of it or lie about it so bite me. I have a poor education but I am a hell of a lot smarter than you.

1. No where in the constitution does it say you should get free health care SORRY that shit is gone.
2. Gay marriage I do not give a shit it is your business I don’t understand it and have never looked at a mans butt and went yeah that’s me but what ever floats your boat folks it is not the governments place.
3. Abortion I do not agree with it especially for birth control reasons but on the other hand I don’t want girls in alleys either so limit this crap to a minimum and let’s move on.
4. War: bring our boys home! Don’t start a war and stop policing the world but let me be clear if some one threatens us, Fuck them the Fuck up with one big boom! Last time I checked Japan love’s the US so go ask them how that whole Pearl Harbor thing worked out for them. We are the big dog so let us start to behave like it!
5. The economy this is the easiest; bring our troops home, quit sending money to other country’s, no entitlement programs if you want something go earn it let me explain I earned 6 digits for twenty years my job went away I picked myself up and started washing windows I am a happy guy. 2nd story a friend lost his job and asked me for advice I told him to go to work at Wal-Mart and work yourself back he started at a minimum wage job and now he has moved on to sell medical supply’s and makes big jack. My point the government doesn’t owe you shit quit expecting it. How much should we have to pay on income taxes? 0!! you keep your money then the government taxes your purchases a bunch we are Americans and most of us don’t save for shit if we have 100% of our money we will spend it like no other and the government will receive more in taxes then they do now.
6. Illegal aligns: Everyone wants to come here and they should if you are not an American Indian then someone in your family loaded up and moved to this country, but with that said sign in, apply for citizenship, learn the language, pay taxes and live happily ever after.
7. The boarders: Build that wall and set troops there since I am not sending money to other country’s and I brought our troop’s home we have plenty of both to secure our land for a change! If you try to sneak across the wall then we will shoot your ass. I bet people start signing in real fast. PS if you hire an illegal align knowingly how about we shut your business down for good there are a lot of legal folks out there looking for work.
8. Term limits for all offices because if they don’t stink when they get there they do when they leave.
9. Limited and equal dollars to spend on campaigns.
10. Global warming and go green: no one loves the Earth more than me but for right now Washington has bigger fish to fry.
11. Fuel: Drill and Drill and Drill even if we do not have as much as I think we do two things happen automatically more jobs and I bet Opec lowers a price of a barrel real quick when we stop buying as much.

Oh well I think you see where I am going by now, back to the fridge!

Guys my point is there are common since solutions for our problems but the establishment keeps giving us the same clowns to elect this is not a Republican thing or a Democrat thing they all lie wake up. Let me leave you with this if your house hold is running out of funds and your spouse comes home and says lets spend more money what would your comment be? Because that is exactly what the government has been doing for years.

A few of my favorites

This one time at band camp

Hello Mcfly

You’re killing me Smalls

Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn

I have nipples Greg could you milk me?

Bond…James Bond

My Precious

Ill be back

Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates

Haste la vista baby

Get busy livin or get busy dying

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Vodka? We don’t need no stinking Vodka

I’m gonna get med evil on your ass

Good evening Clarice

Wendy..I’m home

You talking to me

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

Good morning Vietnam

Game over man…game over

Its in the hole

Alright Hamilton!

Raising them the best I know how

I judge most men by what kind of father they are, I try my hardest to be a good one I miss the mark some times but I try.

Today I was at the Doctors office and I watched a grown man have a Tea Party with his daughter in the middle of a busy reception area he gets it.

I hate the saying it takes a village to raise a kid while I have helped raise many kids in my village and their parents have helped me with mine, I disagree with the statement. It takes a man to stand in there and be a FATHER not a sperm donor, it is a tough job but one I love.

A while back my daughter wrote about me in a paper for school I was so proud. Yesterday Hank emailed me his paper that he turned into his English class, this is it:


Hank Pressley
9/9/11
English 101

In chapter 6 of Guyland, Kimmel talks about how men don’t cry in sports because it gets you in touch with your inner boy. It’s not ok for men to cry, but boys can at a young age. Growing up in a very competitive house, crying was a sign of weakness and that was not tolerated. The first few years of playing sports I always cried, whether it be because of failure or me scrapping up my arms and legs. I remember my dad was always first on the scene to pop that question that made me a man, “Hank. Are you hurt or injured?” No matter what my response was he would tell me to stop crying because crying isn’t going to solve anything. Hearing that would only make me even more upset and cry more, I couldn’t help it, I was only 6 years old! As I got older I learned to cope with failure, because I play a sport where you’re going to fail a lot more than you are going to succeed. My dad made me realize that it’s my job to learn from that situation and move on or failure will continue to follow and I won’t succeed. Even though my father pushed me to get better everyday at baseball, he is the one that developed my true love for the game. Some of my greatest memories was with him, taking me to a professional game, teaching me everything about the game, and playing challenging games to make me better. If it weren’t for my father who taught me everything about baseball, then it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be playing collegiate baseball today. I am truly thankful he introduced me to the game that will always be apart of my life and I will take to my grave.


I wake in the middle of night hoping my kids understand the message I am teaching. I hate to see my baby’s grow up but I am so proud of the adults they are becoming.